Thank you for all of your kind comments regarding my miscarriage.
It has been a rough week, but also a week filled with blessings.
Hubby and I have talked about the purpose of this miscarriage and one thing that keeps coming up is how much MORE we will treasure our next child (should we have one, Lord willing).
I never thought of myself as the type of person who wouldn’t treasure my experience as a mom, but it’s true that this miscarriage has made me analyze things more. I’ve really looked at myself and my patterns.
It may sound critical, but I have thought things such as, “Why would god grant me another child, when I am impatient with the two I already have. When I complain about the difficulties, when I can’t pull myself out of bed in the morning when they wake up and my husband has to go get them.”
To be fair, kids can be difficult and of course we have bad days and it is ok to cry to our spouses or to sneak a few extra minutes of sleep. But, it has been good for me to look at myself from the outside and to think about what I want to change before I have another child. Who do I want to be as a mother of three?