{A Lesson in Submission}

I once thought submission was a nasty word when I was a young girl.  

I didn’t understand what it really meant.

I didn’t understand the beauty of it.  I didn’t understand God’s plan. 

I wasn’t married yet. I was looking at submission the way the world does, not the way God does.

They say marriage is all about compromise, and it’s true.  Sometimes, however, a compromise can’t be reached. Often, that requires submission.  

Hubby and I have taken two marriage classes at church, both of which have been amazing, funny, and helpful.

One point always stood out to me.  If you act in a selfless way, and if you make the first move to show respect to your husband, he will often respond in love. I learn this lesson time and time again.

Case in point #1:

I have been on a craigslist rampage lately.  I suppose all the Christmas spending made me a little nervous and urged me to make some extra dough.  I sold four items last week alone.  Then I listed about 15 books for sale on amazon.  A rampage, I tell you.

So, I have this space heater that I haven’t used in over a year.  It got pulled out of the closet in baby girl’s room while my mom and I were purging.  I listed it on craigslist in the heat of the moment.

When hubby came home and saw it, he thought it was cool.  I maintained that we hadn’t used it, that we had a dish heater (not to mention a wall heater) and we didn’t need it.

Hubby didn’t seem happy that I was trying to sell it, so I agreed to let him try it out and decide if he wanted to keep it.  

Two days later he seemed to think we didn’t really need it anymore since our wall heater does the trick.

I received an e-mail asking about the space heater posting on craigslist, so I sent the hubs this text:

“Do you want to keep that heater or not?  I got 2 emails about it.”

His response was:

“I don’t care it’s up to you.”

I felt a bit convicted, like I was pushing my desires over his wishes, so I responded with this:

“I want to honor your wishes.  Tell me what you would like me to do my love”

Hubby: “Sell it”

I have a sneaking suspicion that my willingness to do whatever hubby wanted influenced him to do what I wanted.  Fancy that?!  Those marriage books know what they are talking about, eh? 

Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t trying to manipulate the hubs and if he had said “keep it”, I would have had to be ok with that, even if I really wanted the $20.  I just think it is neat that my willingness to be respectful led to my husband’s loving response.

It’s no wonder that later that night this scenario happened.  

I left work later than planned and still had a workout to do. I texted hubby to see if he minded us grabbing dinner out since I thought I’d be too tired to go to the store.

He said that was fine.  I felt so loved by his willingness to let me skip the store that I was inspired to go anyway.  So, to the store I went and I whipped us up some quick tostadas for dinner.

Now, not every marital situation is so easily resolved.  Often my selfishness, or tiredness, or stubbornness gets in the way. But, when it doesn’t, when I can look beyond what I want and focus on God’s plan for submission, I get results like the ones today and it is so much better than getting my way with a side of guilt.

After all, I want my husband to be a leader.  Therefore, I need to let him lead, rather than making him feel guilty for leading or afraid of leading.  The cray thing is, It blesses me when I let him lead.

{How has submission blessed you?}

Check out this song about male leading.  I adore it!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s