{Grocery Woman to the Rescue}

**No, this picture is not of me.  But, I have a point!
I take Grocery Shopping very seriously.  See, I capitalized it as a proper noun.  Serious business.
As a single woman, grocery shopping happened whenever I had absolutely nothing left in my cupboards or fridge.  Saltines?  I was good to go.  Pancakes. Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner.  Cereal at night?  Yes please.  Hummus and carrots every week?  But, of course.

Beacuse of this, when I shopped, I merely grabbed what looked good.  Some chicken, a few veggies, a little of this, a little of that.  Simple, quick.
Being married has changed all of that.  I now head to the grocery store with a plan of attack, my weapons handy, and my head held high.  I can do this, I proclaim. 
Now, I menu plan.  Breakfast, lunch, dinner.  I’m still working on that whole cooking for two part, but hey, leftovers make easy lunches, right?  I list our meals, reference the recipe and create a list.  Oh, but it isn’t any ordinary list.  A grocery shopping superhero can’t be ordinary!  I categorize by the location of the items in the store.  This way, I won’t miss anything.  I hate being on one side of a large store like Food 4 Less, only to realize that I forgot to grab the zuchinni waaaaaay back at the front!  I want to create a secret passageway between the TP and Kleenex to solve this problem. Food 4 Less might have something to say about that though.  So, I categorize.
Then, I coupon clip.  Beware, sometimes coupon clipping makes you buy things you weren’t originally planning on. 
Ideally, hubby and I go grocery shopping together, but lately I’ve been tackling this feat on Mondays.  Oh, Mondays.  You are already bad enough and then I added grocery shopping to you.  You never stood a chance.
This habit began when we’d be sitting snuggled on a couch on a dreary Sunday night and I’d say, “we don’t have to go to the store; I’ll go tomorrow.”  I’ll do just about anything to prolong a snuggle.  In fact, I set my alram 5-10 minutes earlier than I actually plan to wake up, just so I can accidently “bump” hubby, which causes him to snuggle me. Ahhh snooze buttons.
Anyway, grocery shopping.  When I am on my game I hit up three stores.  Too bad I can’t fly like an actual superhero.  Food 4 Less, then TJ’s.  They have certain items that are cheaper and, well, just better.  White cheddar cheese puffs anyone?  Then, San Luis Sourdough outlet.  Double-length wheat sourdough for $1.50.  Thank you very much.
Yesterday, I went armed and dangerous to my respective stores.  I wound up exhausted and near tears.  I don’t know why I am surprised.  Grocery shopping alone at 4 p.m. on a Monday always does that to me.  Oh to be a stay-at-home woman who can leisurely stroll the aisles at 9 a.m. Sigh.
So, yesterday.  I accomplished Food 4 Less with no incidents, although I forgot my reusable bags. This is sad becuase they save me 5 cents for each bag I bring.  Moved on to TJ’s only to be slightly inconvenienced by choosing the line where the person ahead of me had credit card issues. I’m really bad at picking lines.  More on that some other time.  Then, I raced to my car to head to the bread outlet.  I was hungry, so I opened the white cheddar cheese puffs.  Buuuuut, I’m not so good at opening them.  Hubby says I am impatient.  I dunno.  All I know is that I accidently opened the bottom and it exploded, showering me in white cheddar dust.  I was wearing a black dress. A cotton black dress. 
So, as I pulled in to the outlet parking lot, I discreetly exited my car and shook off my dress.  Purchasing the inexpensive bread lifted my mood, until I got home, and spilled more cheddar goodness in the back seat, and had to make 3 trips into the house. I am usually a one-trip-wonder.  So the 4 plastic bag handles are cutting off the circulation in my forearm?  So what?  I am a grocery superhero! Well, maybe not.
I think I need to start going twith my hubby again.  We can divide and conquer.  Sometimes, when an aisle is empty, I pretend I am on a catwalk.  Hubby loves this.  I do it until someone walks past the aisle, at which point I nonchalantly place my hands behing my back and whistle.  Fools ’em every time.  Yes, I need to go to the grocery store with my hubby.  He’ll be my grocery sidekick.  He takes away the stress and makes it fun! Marriage has a lot of perks.

{What are your grocery shopping techniques?}


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